Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
