Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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