It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
