Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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