Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
