Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
