just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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