we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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