I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
