we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
