i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
