I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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