Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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