Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
