How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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