You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
