god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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