scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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