Barsexuality is the new black.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
