I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
