Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
