that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
