You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Randomize
