Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
