Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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