We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
