if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
