she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
