Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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