i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
