STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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