Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
