She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize