Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Randomize
