capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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