Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize