Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
