By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
