it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
