So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
