And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
