im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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