my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
