Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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