I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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