Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
