I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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