Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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