when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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