This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
