thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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