you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
