my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
