he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I am mentally ready for anal.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
