Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize