so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
