Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
