i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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