lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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