we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
